Sometimes you find little gems online. Articles that resonate to your own sentiments. Yesterday, I found the blogpost by Carolyn Ridder Aspenson 'What it's like becoming an orphan'. Of course, every experience is unique, but there are certain sentences in particular that are very piercing and true. For instance this one:
"After the death of my mother I realized that as much as I was prepared for my mother to die – which I felt I was since I’d had four months to accept it and be with her – I wasn’t at all prepared for her to be dead."
This hits the nail on the head. Dealing with the fact that someone is dying (not applicable in the case of a sudden heart attack or accident) is not the same as dealing with the fact that you will not see or hear that person again. Ever. That realization is absolutely heart breaking, ruthless and irreversible.
Another part of the blogpost that struck me because I recognize it so much is this one:
"The two people who knew the real me, where I came from, how I became who I am, and who’d watched me grow up and loved me unconditionally from the moment I was conceived, were gone. Sure, I have a wonderful husband and three incredible children, and even two siblings, but none of them shared with me what I shared with my parents. None of them had my back since day one. None of them had that special something, that indefinable thing a parent gives a child."