When you have lost a loved one, every once in a while people ask you how you are doing. It's very nice that they take the effort, it shows that they care. But many times, when you are really, really hurting, it can be hard to answer that question honestly. A general answer can ben easier to produce (for the one who's grieving) and to hear (for the one who's asking). And sometimes we don't even expect an honest answer. Because everybody knows that there are no words that can ease the pain of the loss.
"I'm okay, really."
"Well, it was hard in the beginning, but we're coping."
"We'll just have to make the most of it, don't we?"
"We're hanging in there."
Sounds familiar? Maybe you have said these words yourself. Maybe you have heard them being spoken by a grieving friend. I have been thinking about this. I think there might be solace in the fact that the grief is noticed by friends. It does not solve anything. But sharing that you have noticed that your friend is hurting, is an act of love. Being seen, truly noticed, and not only on the peak moments of success and happiness, is something precious. Worth cherishing.